My apologies for posting a non DB subject. But this is CONSUMING me and I would like some input. Especially since I am now living far away from my friends and I can't post this on a social forum.
I moved up north a year ago. I love it here for almost all reasons. But the one thing that has been difficult is the Nursing Agency I am using for my son. The owner/supervisor DRIVES ME NUTS!
When I was moving - I lined up an agency. It had not been easy finding one that met all of my son's medical needs. About a month before we moved - that agency pulled out - stating they were short staffed. They put us on to another agency who agreed to provide the services we needed for the same cost as we currently had.
Just as we were making the move - the new agency told me they actually had to charge us a bit more than we were paying - about 10% more, actually. Then I learned we were also paying $28 a day in "transportation" fees. UGH - but we had no choice. Said agency got involved from the first minute we arrived - literally - on moving day with app 8 people here to learn about Ryan and train with the one staff I brought from home for a day.
One month into it - the new agency was audited and it seems they now had to charge us tax on the services. Another 7%. This huge hit was nearly the last straw. But once again - we had no choice. I had to dip into savings to manage and also accrued a bit of debt. I figured that when my son's insurance increased (once per year) and our handicapped van was paid off (this fall) we would be ok.
Yesterday I received some startling news. After fighting the Taxes for a year - the agency is going to not have to charge us tax on their service. BONUS! And we can apply to get the last year's tax back. Another bonus. (No guarantee we can get it back though). HOWEVER... They have decided to increase their rates by $4 per hour!!! That works out to similar to what we have been paying. So they are trying to snow me into believing I can pay it. SO - they are going to pocket our savings!!!
This agency owner/supervisor drives me NUTS> she is totally inflexible. It has been her way or the highway for the past year. I have nearly lost my mind. Previous agency supervisors I might hear from app every 6 weeks but this one - hardly a day goes by that she does not call me about something. To me it is like her fingernails are scraping the blackboard. The stress is killing me. She has also aggressively driven every therapist, medical sales person etc CRAZY with her demands for Ryan.
Her demands have included numerous other costs to me in the past year including a motorized wheelchair at 12 grand, ceiling lifts of more than a grand, hospital bed, shower chair etc etc etc. She has absolutely no concept of my budget (which I tell her every day) and wants what she wants when she wants it. She also puts great demands on my time - calling me in to look at him constantly or putting more demands on me during the night. (I am a very involved Mom - if I think my son needs me - I'm there - I don't need to be TOLD).
So she tells me the extra costs are to go mostly to my workers. They are to get $3 an hour increase. She says it is the only way they will stay. At present they are making app the same as most other PSW in the area. She says the care Ryan needs is greater than they should have to do.
My other son recently started a new job with a wage increase of $1.50 per hour. He is over the moon. Where does someone go up $3 an hour with no warning??? Am I being naive??
Calls to other agencies a year ago and one last month started off well but dwindled when Ryan's needs were discussed in depth. I am back to the phones again though. Maybe doing some of the work myself would be better than caving in to her demands and getting that monkey off my back.
I really need some input here. How to deal with someone so demanding and unreasonable. I will give her this - the care is great for Ryan. Not so much for me. How do I put a price on the care? And what if I change agencies and something happens to him. I would have to live with that.
How many people do you need to care for him? Could you hire individual nurses to meet most of theose needs? Sounds like it is time to think outside of the box. This lady thinks she has you where she wants you, don't let her get away with it.
big hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
There are 5 or six that come for 12 hours a day either in one shift or 2 6 hours. The problem of hiring individuals is that if they cancel - I'm stuck. I tried it 4 years ago for about 6 months. It was ok at first but then they all started fighting over who was going to get which shifts and it ended up a mess.
I may have to rethink getting a nanny again.
I checked what I wrote about. THey actually are charging us an additional 13% not 7%. and mileage twice a day if they do 2 shifts. That's an additional $28 a day. According to the government agency who pays for a couple of their hours per day - they can't charge me for that mileage but they do it anyway.
Trouble is - they're the only game in town who can handle his complex needs so I am basically stuck.
Josh thinks we should continue with them for the time being but start interviewing any and all other options and dump them like hot potatoes as soon as we can figure out Plan B.
Get the government on her...maybe write her up or something. Like I said, she knows that she is all you have so she is going to take advantage of that.
Maybe talk to some other caregivers and see if you can't make up a reasonable plan. If anyone can do this, I am sure you can.
Kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Start your own agency. Do it for a year or two then sell:) You are a business woman who has identified a need. At least the research would inform you but you seem already informed. Might be less work! Wonder
Wonder: I thought of that a couple of years ago. But these days - most are run by an RN and the need for RN involvement is much more important with Ryan these days. I guess part of it is that I really need a break away from it all. This agency puts a lot of demands on me and I've not had much down time since we moved here.
Kat: I think I might have something on her. Trouble is - what she TOLD me that could definitely get her into trouble - she didn't put that part in writing. (she's not stupid). I might have to let her bill me for a month or so in her new plan and then prove to the government that she is withholding taxes.
I have a supervisor with a government run agency who helps me sort things out and she knows her and my situation well. She thinks I should try another agency even though they can't provide for all of his needs. She likens it to the current agency being like having a cadillac (they really do provide excellent care) and maybe the new agency would be a Ford Focus (still nice and reliable but maybe not able to do a perfect job). Hmm...
Tommorrow I'll be phoning around for more info and ideas.
That woman sounds horrible! She sounds totally unreasonable and not good for your budget or your positive mental health. Maybe you could look into the less expensive agency, and maybe supplement with a part-time nanny if one is needed? I would definitely try to figure out a plan B.
It is SO frustrating. I have been considering a nanny since we moved here. I think you're on the right track, Karen.
Truly - the take absolutely wonderful care of Ryan and I've never had an agency so reliable before. BUT - she does not know how to "take care" of me. And the caregiver (me) has to be treated well too. If the caregiver stresses out - no one can do this longterm. I have to look after him at night - I don't like her demands on me all day.
Josh thinks we should go along with it for the short term so we don't rush into something new and possibly make a mistake in the process. The one saving grace is that she put in writing that she would not raise the price for the next 3 years. BUT - it just feels all wrong. And it makes me sick.
I don't really hear anything that sounds unfair. The agency firmed up the details of the contract regarding rate and transportation fees before care began. You might wish their rates and terms were different, but it isn't unfair for them to bill as they do. The tax issue was beyond their control and now you can get that money back. I'm not sure what to think about transportation fees, but she did let you know about them and I guess you'll know soon enough if they are legal. There is a difference between reimbursing for mileage and compensating someone for travel time, so perhaps that matter to what the state allows.
The only issues seem to be:
(1) They are raising the rates.
(2) They involve you too much.
With respect to (1), it sounds to me like the pay raise is likely required to keep people working with you because the position really is much more demanding than other jobs. You seem to be finding this out yourself as other options turn you down because the job is so demanding. If you have skilled people willing to do the job who you trust, it seems unwise to jeopardize that. It also seems rather generous for her to lock in the rate for three years.
With respect to (2), I can definitely see how her style could be too stressful for you. It seems to me that you might even be a bit reactive/feeling victimized precisely because of your stress level (perfectly understandable). Long-term, it wouldn't be good for anyone not to get that under control.
Have you tried being very direct with her? She may have many clients that like the level of contact that she provides and/or her style may work better with other clients because other cases are easier and don't require as many decisions. Perhaps it would be useful to try to think about some boundaries to protect yourself and then share with her what you'd like in a clear, direct, non-emotional way, perhaps via email. Maybe things would get better, maybe not. But no harm in trying as you continue to weigh your options. What exactly would you like to be different with respect to how she involves you in care decisions?
