I think a lot about the amount of space that I have given my WAW. She's moved into her own apartment. I don't initiate any TM or phone calls. I started NC due to my pain but then started LRT.

Some of WAW reasons for space were for:
- independence, "to prove to herself she could do it". This corresponds to the lack of self confidence identified by both her and my ICs. WAW said to her BFF that she couldn't express herself when in arguments with me because I used so much logical and was always so convincing. Thanks to the Pease books I realize it was simply me not listening.

- pressure from her family, that they were "forcing their views into her" about her A. No one understood how happy she was to have found her soul mate and the emotional connection was so strong and natural in 2 weeks of A compared to 8 years of R with LBH. This is a hard one for me because WAW literally expects S to know how she feels and thinks without her having to say anything. This immature thinking has been reinforced by three of her BFFs. I feel if I ever get the opportunity, all I can do is ask how she feels and listen.


Of course, all family and friends think that this space is only for her to pursue her A with OM. I think all three reasons apply to WAW's desire space.

It's been said in other threads, my old M is dead. Any R will be with a new W or a new person. But I can't stop thinking about what WAW is thinking during this space since she has not mentioned our M since I went NC/LRT in March

H 34 W 27
M 9mth T 8
Separated 1/'12 ILYBNILWY
OM 2/'12