Got to agree with SIAS. I didn't see anything in your story that sounded bad or anything to not be proud of. You were polite and cordial. I don't think you needed to be anything but that.
I can understand why you feel betrayed. But you don't know what they are saying to your H. For that matter, you don't know what he's saying to them either. So I think you handled it correctly. Be cordial. Be nice. Leave it at that until/unless you find out otherwise.
I actually think you are doing great. You know you have some areas to work on, and you're brutally honest about them. That takes courage. Something not everyone has (including myself). You should be very proud of the work you've done to get to know the woman you've become.
