I can see how irritating it must be for your W to think you're making all these changes for her. How inflated must someone's ego be to think that changes that have lasted 2 years, is all just for them. I think my H thinks the same thing, but I don't care anymore what he thinks.
Have you ever thought of calling her bluff, and telling her that it's time NOW to make a decision. Time to get re-involved in the M and family as a whole (which will involve work like going to a MC, etc.), or get out NOW, so that you can rebuild your life and the lives of your children, after all, you're not getting any younger either. You don't have to get into a R talk because she has noticed your changes. You just want to get on with your life with or without her. I suspect that she may be waiting for the EA OM to get his D completed, not for son to be out of school. MLCers are selfish that way.
Good luck with whatever happens.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim