Wife wants out

[totallydevoted]

Thanks Brit...I know our R has to be a different one...and my STBXW will need to do a lot of work on herself to ever make us a possibility again. My fear is that she won't...because she never has. She has her family support system to keep her right where she is...their little puppet...doing everything they tell her to. BUT...her problem now, not mine...if she doesn't put an end to her family's "loving" manipulation of her, she'll be forever miserable.

And I don't want that anymore...but I know her heart...and I know that she's being pulled in both directions. From her family and her loyalty to them no matter how dysfunctional...and her love for me and our family. I can feel that battle that's going on in her, I know it's present. I just don't think she's strong enough to go against her family...and again, I don't want the way she allows them to use her anyway - I don't want that person.

We used to live in another city...5 hours away drive - we were so happy then. I wish we never moved back here where she grew up...created resentment in me on how they use her (started to see it the longer we lived near them)...and created resentment in my W when I would express my concern about it. I pulled back from her family...because I refuse to be treated that way and was angry at them for doing it to my W...and that's when they began to sabotage our M. Of course, can't so anything about that now...MUST focus solely on myself and my children.

So...I don't want our old R...which is helping me detach, but I love my W dearly and am so totally devoted to her and our family, BUT I do not feel that she's strong enough to do what's right for herself to allow an avenue for us in the future...very sad.