When I advise Navy to "move on", it's with the sincere desire that it wakes his wife up.
I want things to work out for them, but they have not. He's pulled his weight and hers, for a long time now. Nothing has improved, and a certain deterioration has evolved. Now she also drinks too much, and the kids get to see that, too. I assume she'll blame Navy for "the stress of marriage to him" what with him being kind to her, doing the bulk of the housework and childcare and paying the bills...how difficult for her.
( hey, I AM the wife of a man who's going off to the middle east soon, and as tough as it will be on me and the kids, trust me when I say, I do NOT complain to him or hold it against him...though I do like hearing the words "thank you" a lot lately.)
If his moving on (in whatever form it takes) does wake her up, we'll all jump on board to help him in Piecing.
But my gut says it'd take her a long LONG time to tell Navy she'd blown it, due to the fact that she's convinced herself that Navy is responsible for her self induced misery AND b/c of her stubborn pride.
So if she doesn't wake up after he moves on, it's my opinion that she never would have anyhow. ---So---
The sooner he is in a healthier life situation, the better for him and his kids.
In sum, yes I see that it's pretty much like an ultimatum, yes. AND If Navy's ready for it, I say okay. Honestly, how can it make things worse? What is she going to do? Say mean things to him? She already does. File for divorce? She already says she wants to and will eventually, except for the kids - which I no longer buy as her excuse for not leaving--
b/c 1) I think she wants HIM to file or leave so she isn't the responsible party b/c she's GREAT at avoiding any and all accountability
and 2)
she's not exactly mom of the year lately. So I'm cynically suggesting she's in the marriage for the money, a roof over her head and tuition bills being paid, and she's biding her time before leaving, at HER convenience.
Even if Navy still wants the m, and I think part of you does, Navy, I see this as the only thing you have not really tried. Am I missing something?
Navy - as Jack3 says, you need to do what YOU want to do. Choosing the course of action is the tough part-I know,
but Your options APPEAR to be dwindling...
And we all must play the cards we are dealt.
I'll respect your choices and support them as best I can. I think we all would.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
