looking for hope

[jc180]

Well what a roller coaster weekend. I had to go to court last Thursday for a petition to have a social study done. While I was waiting for my lawyer my wife comes into the hallway and sit next to me. We talked for a few minutes about our son and caught up with each other. The judge decided that we would have a mediator and that there would be no social study.

On my way home I got a text from my wife congratulating me on getting a good job. Later on she asked me if I wanted to have lunch. So I was very confused. We hadn't spoken very much at all and now she wanted to have lunch. I suspected that she wanted to talk about the mediation and our visitation schedule.
Later she changed the plans and I met her at our home for lunch.
I let her set the tone and reminded myself of the 180 rules. It didn't take long for her to bring up our relationship. I validated her feelings and didn't offer any resistance. I told her that I couldn't disagree with anything she was saying. To be fair she wasn't attacking me or being aggressive. It was not what I expected.

We were both going to a ceremony at our sons daycare later in the day. So she asked me if I wanted to go shopping with them for some clothes. I of course said yes and so we went. It was nice spending time with them both and I think my son was acting more relaxed. As the time for the ceremony came near she asked if I wanted to go with them in one vehicle. I was conscious of not over staying my welcome and made that clear. She said she would like it if we all went together. The ceremony was cute and the kids sang songs. My in-laws were there and they were very nice, but they did have a confused look on their faces. I imagine I did as well. This was not what I was expecting considering we were just in court earlier in the day. Afterward we went and got dinner.

Our son fell asleep on the way home so we had time to talk some more. It was all very constructive and there was no heated exchanges. In fact I could tell she didn't want me to leave. So we decided I would stay and she would leave because the next morning was our day to switch custody. So she left. About 30 minutes later I heard the garage door opening and went to see what it was. She came back with a shy grin on her face! She said she had been missing me for days and on her way to her moms she thought "what am I doing? He is my husband" so she grabbed some clothes and came back home.

We spent the whole weekend together and even took a trip to the beach. I let her know my thoughts and what I needed from our relationship. She did the same. We both agreed the divorce came too fast and overwhelmed us both. She told me she feels different towards me, ready to commit to making it work. She knows it is going to be a bumpy road but she keeps telling me she is happy and she loves me.

So today I am going to call my lawyer and stop the divorce. She is going to do the same.