Baby, what a big surprise...

[Underdog]

Hi all,

SD, thanks for popping in. D18 graduated last Wednesday and we had a whirlwind of activity and family here from across the globe. It was very busy, and on top of that, work has been extremely stressful lately. I'm now able to kind of take a deep breath before proceeding.

That being said, I have done no self work for the past few weeks. It's been survival mode. Instead of reading on my kindle, I've been playing word games. It hasn't been terribly productive, but it's helped alleviate some of the stress. I guess it beats chewing my hair or nails?

Lynn, I've been mulling over this for the past few weeks:

I enjoy men and all that comes with them, but I just don't know where they fit into the puzzle of my life? I really, really like this stage of life. I know who I am and where I'm headed and I'm excited. Would a man interrupt my new life?

I don't think I could have said this better. Thank you for articulating!

And the final fear based statement?:

I opened my heart and bared my soul for 20 years to get kicked to the curb. Do I want to risk that again???

Oh yes. This one resonates with me as well. (And yes, these ARE trust issues!)

Although there was no OW in our split, I eventually got traded in for a younger model (she's 35). My D18 tells me I'm better looking and have aged better in general, though. Still...

I have to climb back in the wagon and get working on some of my baggage. I am still in the middle of transition with D15, who has her first shadow day at the high school today. Her sitter's last day is next week (along with last day of middle school), and also beginning a new respite care situation next Wednesday. XH is, of course, out of town right now. I'll get to manage her stress through this, though he will be back in the saddle next week to help. So I don't expect the next few weeks to be smooth, seamless or easy. 'Cause history with her proves it won't. So I'd best not delude myself that this is just another week in her life.

My folks left behind a lot of wine when they departed. I think I'm going to need it...

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programs, already in progress!

Betsey