Do What Works

[zig]

well, i guess according to what you've described above, i am doing NOTHING that works, because after 10 months, he is showing NO signs of moving towards the marriage.

the only "change" that i can see is that he is moving towards co-parenting and wanting to talk about s together.

can I see that as a positive baby step - in comparison to him insisting and making sure that we did EVERYTHING separately until about a month ago with s?

and when i say separately - it was always separately through most of the marriage. now in the last week, i've been amazed that he wanted us to discuss together what we do with s for the summer and be on the same page about it.

he's also committed already to having s's birthday party together at the end of june at his parents house as we've always done. everyone we know will be there - it's always been our huge bash of the year with 30 or 40 people.

i'm not trying to read anything into the party thing - because it would be mind reading. but the fact that he committed to something like that so far in advance, is the first sign of committing to anything to do with the extended family for months

i do find myself thinking that he is being a bit careful and nice to keep me as plan b - i have no illusions - there's a new tension about him recently - coinciding with me letting go.

so any thought on what i could change? would be greatly appreciated.

thanks starsky, and as i said before - i hope this thread gets awful active - and we get a good discussion going

hope you're having a great day
zig