Stand up. Poor and tired, but more than this.

[LIO]

Journal:
H came over yesterday in the afternoon, and mainly watched tv and played on the internet (no different than when he was living here). I do kind of hope that one night he will think 'I'm wasting $ to go to an empty apartment'. IT's only been 1.5 weeks though. Too early. I have a whole summer ahead of me before I move myself.

I'm frustrated. My own expectations?
If he was so interested in a divorce, then why is his routine so much of the same old behaviors?

Anytime I try to set a boundary or a expectation - he throws in "I need you to go to the courthouse and sign the serving paperwork". URgh.

I have to go to work at 9, and I have no idea when he plans on being here. I would like to say in an email:

"I need to leave for work by 8:30 each day, what time will you be over to take care of S?" or "So I can plan my week, I need to know what times you will be available to watch S"
I feel disrespected, like my time isn't valuable. I do have a adjustable work schedule - but 9 is pushing it for me.

Do I mention that every time I ask for a plan, he mentions the paperwork? Guess he was serious when he didn't want responsibility right now. I feel that not having responsibility means it easier to disconnect from the family (which is so opposite of how he used to be). It's too much of acting like a teenager. At least he has to pay money for rent.

I doubt he called the counselor too, like he promised 3 times.
I really wanted him to do this, but that's not enough. He has to want that. I know this.

I am frustrated because this seems like such a struggle.
Got it, he's on his own... He comes over, does what he normally does, then goes to his place to sleep on the floor and this whole thing eats up $1000 of his $2000. But I shut up because if he doesn't do this, there is no chance for 'us'. I would hear about it indefinitely on how he wants out. Right now, I learn patience. and how to control myself... and not tell others what to do. 2 very trying lessons for me.