I read a book many years ago that may be of help to you in understanding what he's going through. It is called "Silent Son" by Robert Ackerman. You may want to check it out.
It's going to take him a while before he acknowledges the pain you went through and some of them apologize in a half @ss way. I got an apology and recognition for the pain my xh put me through during the 25 yrs of marriage, but not for the crisis or what he did throughout the crisis. He swept it under the rug and he ignores any mention of it, even after 13 yrs. It's like it is a foreign country to him to this day.
By allowing him the space and time to heal, you are supporting him from afar. Treat him kindly and know that deep down he does still care for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
