couple quick updates (at least I'll try. I can get wordy)...

Sunday morning W and I had a tense interchange. I walked into the bathroom while she was getting ready for church and saw her taking a picture of herself in just a towel. I asked her what she was doing and she responded "nothing". I pressed and said it looked like she was taking a picture of herself and was she planning to send it to anyone, like OM... She said no and that she takes pictures of herself at different times even with our D10 as she is working to figure out if she can make the modeling thing work.

Then she said that we had made some good progress in the last few weeks and she didn't want me to go back to being uptight and spying on her. I agreed that is not what I want either. I explained that I know very little about what took place between she and OM and when I see things like this it feels very uncomfortable. She again said that it was only flirting. She then added the detail that they had chatted on FB several times until OM's wife caught them. I didn't know that part. That makes me feel good as when W is with them, the friend is probably on more alert than I expected.

The conversation ended in a decent fashion and we actually went on with a normal day with good interactions.

Tonight was another deal...I was watching a movie while W was doing some work on the computer. I got tired and decided to go on to bed. W looked off in some way so I asked if she was OK. She said yes and good night. A few minutes later she followed me into the bathroom as I'm getting ready. It seemed odd but I just went about getting ready.

When I finished, W said there was something and she was scared to bring it up but needed to. Basically, she had set up our tax return to go into her own account rather than our joint. She explained that it was only because she couldn't find the account info for our joint account when she finished the filing. She also said that she had already spent a little of 25% of the return. She apologized. She said she had tried to justify it but knew it was wrong and wanted to let me know. I listened, told her I needed to process but stayed calm. I did say that I had suspected she had done this given how long it had been since the filing and I also told her that I really appreciated her telling me and being honest.

She said she was going to wait because I have the day off tomorrow so we can spend it together and she didn't want to ruin that but she felt she needed to tell me. I again thanked her.

We also discussed here closing her own account and using only a joint account again to work together.

W said we had made some really good progress in the last few weeks and she was scared about taking steps backwards for her mistakes. I tried to support and asked her to listen very carefully. Then I said, "I love you. I've made tons of mistakes and done things I greatly regret and wish I could take back, but I can't. I'm not going to stop loving you or trying to help our marriage because of any mistake you may make." I think I mentioned appreciating her honesty again.

So again, the converation ended with us OK and we still plan on spending the day together and going out to dinner. I also invited her to come to have lunch with me this week while the kids were gone so I could give here a tour of where I work. Its a rather interesting place. In the 2 years she's been here she's not been for a tour while others in our family have. She agreed to come.

Conversations are starting up and they feel like healing conversations. I will not rush this. I will not rush this. I will not rush this.... (my own little reminders.)

OK, I typed it fast but its still long... thanks for reading.


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms