You do need time to grieve because this is a death. Bottling up the grief won't make it go away. Take the time, don't worry about unpacking. When you feel up to it, it'll happen.
Maybe start by doing one nice thing for yourself everyday. Do you have friends where you are now? Someone you could meet for lunch?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Not bottling, totally unloaded on my friends last nite. It really helped me. Don't know what I'd do without them. I did cook my first meal in 4 months. Thanks, Bug!
Haven't been here in awhile. Divorce is final, got the final papers in the mail this weekend. Have had zero contact with him in 5 days. Working thru a lot of emotions. Going to take a long time to process and adjust to this new life.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I think it was Val who wrote that she keeps energy bars on her so that whenever she feels like she can and needs to eat, she has them there. That advice has helped me with the eating thing.
((( )))
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
I am so sorry you are going through this. Things will get better! I agree with Needgrace and the energy bars...that is a great idea!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
I can't even imagine how this must feel for you. I hope you are getting out some and doing things for you.
I read this by Brookie on the MLC forum. It certainly resonated with me.
Originally Posted By: Brookie-MLC forum
I always feel that dbing is a good roadmap for how to live your life and sometimes, it saves marriages.
Know that you did the best you could with the knowledge and tools you had at the time. Had you known better, you would have done better.
Own your own stuff, let your spouse own theirs.
Your spouse is in a life crisis. It is their journey. Let them walk it. Your job is to get out of the way.
Your changes have to be real. For you. If they are not, it doesn’t serve you well and doesn’t help the situation.
Always act with dignity and honesty.
Use the feeling of anger as a way to propel you forward. Then let it wash over you and let it go. Otherwise it will weigh you down and sap your energy.
You may feel you need your spouse, but in reality, you don’t. You want them. There is a difference.
The feeling that you won’t get through this will go away.
Whenever you think that your life is horrible, remember there are always others whose lives are more difficult.
Never, ever get in the way of your children’s relationship with their other parent.
Your children are looking to you to show them how to navigate through life’s difficulties. What a gift you have been given. Make sure you show them well.
This journey is a wonderful opportunity to become the person you were meant to be – the very best you.
Remember that you are worthy. No one and nothing can take that away except you. _________________________
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
