My Story So Far. Is this even worth saving?

[timbits]

Thanks so much, ladies. That really means a lot to me. I spoke with my IC and she said that I've been angry for a long time but unable to really express it in any way and the email acted as a catalyst to bring it out. I was really angry all day, at my doctor's appointment (family physician who knows what is going on and is fantastic) and after. I came home and H had gotten off work early. He knew I was grumpy, but I managed not to tear his head off. I went to the IC session and I feel much better.

I mentioned reading Codependent No More and she recommended I read it. She also agreed with not making any rash decisions based on anger, but to let it out and let it pass before I decide anything. I agree with this.

It's not even like reading what he wrote was really news to me. I mean, when I read that they talked about having kids together, that almost made me shudder in embarrassment. I mean, this is a grown woman, 38 and she has 3 kids and a husband. And they're talking about running away together and uniting their souls by having a child? Seriously, that sounds like a high school relationship. I thought by the time you reach that age, you would have grown up a little, but I guess not. My IC laughed when I said it was like reading a script from My So-Called Life. God. It's pathetic.

I'm feeling calmer, but my IC also agreed I need to examine what I want in life and go for it. I really want to travel, so I think I'm going to look into a trip for myself. Might go with my sister or a friend. I really want to see more of Europe. I've been to England, Ireland and Wales, but I'd love to see more. Also, I'm going to look into a pottery class. Sounds like fun.

I'm also going to have to think about what I want a lot more. I don't really even know what I want. But I figure if I want to be happy, I have to think about this.

Thanks so much, both of you, for writing in my thread. It really makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone.