Not chasing is the hardest part. Every time my W does something that makes me think it is a signal, I am ready to pounce and pursue. Learning to back off.
Example: For Memorial Day today, I planned on taking our Ds to the beach. I sent her a text that she was welcome to join us (I made sure it was an invitation from US, not ME). She said yes but she would drive herself.
I took this as she would go until the OM was ready then she would leave. But in reality, I think she took the car because she wasn't sure how I was going to be. If I started to smother her or pressured her about working on our marriage, she wanted the ability to leave.
I never once mentioned the OM. I never mentioned where we were in the relationship. We just sat and watched our girls and talked to each other like friends the entire time.
She stayed until we were ready to leave. Then on the way home, she called me to talk about a new job opportunity she was excited about and we talked for 30 mins driving home.
Although I wasn't 100% detached and dark, I didn't push her away today and it was a good day.
M-40 W-33 D3, D4, SD13 T 9 YEARS M 5 YEARS ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012
