I planned on taking my 3 Ds to the beach today and told my wife I would be there at 10am to pick them up.
She sent me a tell in the morning asking if I could bring our dog (German Shepard) over to her apartment for the day and she would bring him back in the morning. She always feels safe when our dog is around. Made me sense that the OM wouldn't be around.
I said OK, then sent her a text saying "You are more than welcome to join us today". I wanted to have a day where the Ds got to spend a holiday with their mom and dad.
She said "Sure, but I am taking my own car".
We had a good day at the beach and just sat next to each other and talked while we watched our Ds play.
She asked what I was going to do about a place to live once my lease runs out in a few months. I informed her that I wanted to move back West. Like a fool, I thought it would shock her. I asked if she wanted to move back with me. She said no, she had adjusted to Florida. She said she understood why I wanted to go back. She said she would take the Ds because she didn't want to go without seeing them. This shocked me as I thought she wanted to be a part-time mom and enjoy life. Something she can't do with 3 kids.
We talked more about her apartment and expenses. She was really excited about paying her own bills. I always thought she would need me, but she doesn't. She is doing just fine on her own. She will probably do better than me since I am picking up most of the expenses with the Ds.
I fear she is gone. She wants to live by herself.
I don't fear or care about the OM. I do not see him as a threat. I do not see them as ever being serious. It [censored] that he gets her affection, but there is nothing I can do about it. What gets me through it is whenever I get upset he is over at her apartment or with the kids, my best friend tells me "It isn't something we don't already know." I repeat this to myself and it helps me adjust to it.
At the end of the day when we were leaving the beach, I told her if she ever wanted to hang out or go out for drinks, she could give me a call.
Did I just screw up? I never once mentioned our R or anything.
I think my W just wants to live alone for a bit. The fool in me believes I can win her back if we continue to do things together. She already knows and accepts that I am not helping her financially.
When we first starting going out 9 years ago, she was also seeing someone else. Our song was "That Ain't My Truck" by Rhett Akins. She has said she is no longer attracted to me, but will also add that she wasn't attracted to me when we started dating 9 years ago.
Do I detach or slowly rebuild? She wants to be young and go out and have fun, but still be a mom. Do I show her that being with me doesn't mean she has to give up going out?
M-40 W-33 D3, D4, SD13 T 9 YEARS M 5 YEARS ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012
