Journalling:
Today I've been NC for 4 days. Today I managed to go to an appt across the street from H and make no contact. That was actually a bit tough but not nearly as crazy as I've felt in previous situations. Today I've felt calm, upbeat, optimistic, and generally don't feel as helpless or hopeless as I've felt in MONTHS.

I'm not sure if he'll come to drinks on Thursday with our friends who are in town from another country. I'm a bit nervous. It's his choice. I am obviously NC so I'm not bringing it up. My only fear is he'll bring her. I think he'll not come before bringing her because he knows I'll be there. I plan to get there early and leave early since it is a school night.