really great advice again adinva. I am really glad you are posting here because i was struggling with the specifics of how to put the DB principles into play. The GAL is hard as all my friends are now married with kids, I do play golf at least once a week and previously I have not gone sometimes because I felt guilty leaving her with the kids on one of my days off but that guilt has flown. I am trying to meet some new people through a few different avenues and I think that will help. I have always done those things with my kids but now I just do them more often and they love it which makes me really happy.
I wish I knew where the resentment came from but dont know how to pinpoint it but have two main ideas. The most likely is: W recently decided to lose all her baby weight and I thought that was great but she joined an online program that was reasonably expensive at the time given tight finances and tried to hide it from me. I reacted badly I admit but had she been upfront I would have been fine. From that point on she has been going to the gym every night for a minimum 2 hours. At the start I was not happy with this as I wanted to have some family dinners with the kids, I am still not happy with it. In her mind she sees this all as a lack of support and has posted many things online saying how unsupportive I was even though I helped her with meal ideas and preparation, did some workouts out home with her and constantly told her what a great job she was doing and how great she looked. Mos nights I would come home after long days and have children thrust at me as she walked out the door, of course I am gonna complain a little bit. I am not complelty innocent and I did not like the fact that every night she took off to the gym but i did support her. Given her state of mind it is easy to see why she only sees the bad I did and not the good. But how do I shake this?
I also feel she may have some resentment about my lack of parenting input when we first became parents. I am big enough to see that I did not shoulder my part of the burden but in my defence I was a new dad and had no idea what I was supposed to do. I know that I would leave her with the baby and still go do my own thing when I wanted too. It took me quite a few months to wake up to myself but I did and I started letting her sleep late as often as possible when on a full shift work roster. I have learnt what being a dad really is and am now really inolved in my kids, far more so than many of my friends. Maybe I deseved resentment then but I changed and corrected the problem so not sure abut this one.
Think the weight loss one is what has done me in, just not sure how to fix it. I offered to come see the comp she is gonna compete in to show I am interested, when I am really not as I think a bunch of tanned, oiled uo idiots posing on stage is ridiculous. But I did not tell her that obviously, I have tried to be interested and ask questions but nothing. Just spit ballin here
