Just had a light-bulb moment from reading one of 25's posts (not unusual, I know!).

She pointed out that to our WASs, we are the reason they are not with their kids.

Hence the resentment, animosity, coldness that seems so baseless, often, to us.

I can see it from my H's POV now:
I was impossible to live with. He had to escape to survive.

But that meant that I was the source of him losing his kids.

He can't be with them when they are with me.

That seems to be where he's at.

I know this is mind-reading, but it gives me some sense of understanding why he is behaving like he is.

Thanks 25!