In-Home Separation, One Year Point

[adinva]

So, H left a while ago to have dinner at the friend's house and told me he'd be staying the night. I just said "oh" - a little surprised, and then, "ok, see ya." I kind of thought on a holiday weekend maybe we'd try to do something fun and here he was going to spend it with his friend and his friend's girlfriend and kid. I followed up by saying "we might do something fun tonight. If we go anywhere I'll text you."

So I wracked my brain to think of something fun. Since the kids are scattered and I have weeding I thought I could fit a cookout in. Got some brats and Bubba burgers and cooked them on the grill. It was my first attempt at Bubba burgers, and I don't eat burgers or cook them, so unfortunately S14's wasn't cooked enough and he didn't like it. But I liked my brat so cookout = success. H texted me to invite us over for a movie. I confirmed with S14 that he didn't really want to go, and texted back to H thanks but we'll stay home.

I had a mini lightbulb moment at the grocery store. I was feeling a bit upset that H is replacing us with his friend's home and family, and kind of had a sad look on my face. I realized it is what it is, and I needed to really be OK with myself. Not just acting ok in front of h and the kids. What would make me feel happy about tonight knowing that H isn't there and isn't going to be part of it. So I got into choosing a whole bunch of fruit and chips to go with the meal, and s'mores, and thought about some other people I could invite over. I didn't end up inviting anyone because I really need to get the yardwork done, but it was a step in the right direction to consider it.