Hey J- Appreciate you keeping us posted and its nice to see a sitch working towards R, it gives many of us hope.
Where and what are your current expectations at with your w?
I am really just taking it day by day now. I have to say I expect us to fully reconcile. It's been almost 6 months since bomb and our R is much better than its been in years--minus sex. I think really the only thing that would derail us is me at this point.
I say that in that I need and crave intimacy that she cannot give me at this point yet (sex). I understand and think she will down the road (she's told me she will and please be patient) and is making headway, but I'm impatient and how long can/will I wait for her there? i don't really have a timeline on it, just ask myself about it often. I pray on this for strength so I think I can make it. I avoid situations alone with women right now and will not get close to one because I know I am weak here at this point. I've never cheated on a woman, but I know enough that anyone could and i'm weak now due to all of this.
Basically I'm just trying to be patient and rebuild intimacy in all other areas with her at this time, hoping it won't be too long till we have sex again.
M 43, W 40 T 22. M 14 D 14, S 9, S 8 DD 11/21/11 Retrouvaille 4/13/12--and the healing begins as we begin a new journey together!
If you decide to be with her I think she has to show you equal commitment.
Only you know if that has happened.
You have gained some hard ground. Give it like its gold.
I don't mean be stubborn
I mean she should show you its worth giving the ground.
TG, you always come in to this with sage advice! Thanks!
Yes, I know forgiveness is a gift to myself. I agree with the commitment, the trick is how long I wait for the same level from her? I have been the one doing the heavy lifting and she acknowledges it too. She knows she has to meet me in the middle eventually and has been dialoguing with me on that, when will that be? That's the 10,000 question. I do see enough progress from her the past month to know she's working on it and is aware of her part in any R. There's plenty of hope and I know that I'll be fine!
M 43, W 40 T 22. M 14 D 14, S 9, S 8 DD 11/21/11 Retrouvaille 4/13/12--and the healing begins as we begin a new journey together!
i'm really happy to hear about your RV experience. i am on a much different path w/ RV but feel it has done tremendous things in improving communication at least between H and i. it is definitely hard work. i agree completely. next week.. intimacy.. and sexual intimacy. that shall be a loaded topic. lol! good luck! although you may be on a different schedule then i am.
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
I am now moving this thread to the piecing section. I will update more later but W has made a full commitment to me and our R. I feel like I'm in a new marriage with her and she is acting like a new wife in many ways towards me. It's like we're in the honeymoon phase again. She told me the other day that "It's going to work." She initiates contact with me, tells me she loves me 1st again, etc.
This is because of Retrouvaille and more importantly, the power of God and the Holy Spirit. We cannot describe it, but just need to continue to work together and get thru the roller coaster rides of live. I pray for all of your marriages out there and wish you all peace. J
M 43, W 40 T 22. M 14 D 14, S 9, S 8 DD 11/21/11 Retrouvaille 4/13/12--and the healing begins as we begin a new journey together!
