Just to clarify- I don't ask H to come do yard work. He usually emails me once a week and says what day he is coming by. I almost emailed him last week about stepping it up and doing more but I chose not to and he now seems to be taking that initiative on his own. He was here yesterday cutting the lawn and is coming Monday to do some other stuff- so that's good. I also am usually not home when he comes. I've seen him twice since the end of March- each time I've only stayed home for about 15 minutes or so and he's been outside most of that time. I've been out there for 2 hours this morning doing stuff (and working on my tan) and my dad is coming tomorrow to help with my big project.
What we seem to be suggesting is that you already have whatever task H is going to do done and then when he emails to say he's coming by you can say "No worries, I already did it." Then watch his head implode
I get where you're coming from. When H threatened to leave for weeks, I thought he won't be able to find a place that takes dogs and he won't leave the dogs well, he did and then I thought, he'll come back to take them out and he didn't and then I thought when I have to go out of town for work, I'll call him and he'll have to come and take care of them and then I realized that in my mind, wanting H to come back because of obligations was the wrong approach.
I'm leaving for the first time today out of town and I've hired a dogsitter. I have to say, it was the fastest response I got from H when he inquired whether he needed to come over and I wrote back, "taken care of already. Thanks." He responded within 2 minutes saying he could do it but I just wrote back after 20 minutes saying there was no need that I had taken care of it.
Okay so maybe after my dad comes tomorrow I'll just text H and say the yard is all set no need for you to come.
I honestly don't think I can cut the grass without some help. Maybe I can start asking my neighbor friend. The ride on mower has to be pushed out of the shed, over a raised door frame and started outside. I tried pushing it out today just to see if I could. We have a push mower which I could use but it would take forever!! I'll try next weekend when the grass needs to be cut again.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
Could you get some ramps (or make them) to get them over the shed door frame? I have confidence that you'd be able to handle the riding mower once you get it outside. My grandmother used to ride hers all the time well into her 70's.
Feeling sad and frustrated today. My H proposed to me after a half marathon, which was today. I didnt do it this year but a lot of my friends did. This long holiday weekend has just seemed especially sad. Many of my friends are away. I just keep thinking about how I don't understand how everything went so wrong in my M. How did my H get to a point where he was so unhappy he didn't even want to work on fixing our R? How can he just walk away from everything?
Last night I went to a cookout where I was the only non- couple person
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
Wow Maggie, good job for going to that cookout! I hope you had some fun there.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I did have fun but I find that I can't have the same type of Fun I did before- its like my situation and my husband are always on my mind and I just am not as present or as in the moment. I get jealous at little couple moments that I see happening then I get upset with myself for being jealous. I'm going to my doctor this week- I need my anxiety med refilled and I'm going to see about getting something to help me sleep and see if she can prescribe me a low dose muscle relaxer- my jaw and shoulders and neck ache constantly from stress. I'm a clencher!
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
