I am quick learner and fairly smart but Detaching from someone who you still live with and love is still giving me some trouble, how can you do this and not seem like you just don’t care?
Detaching is more of mental attitude than anything else. Once you've got it down mentally, the rest will fall into place.
What if you had a female cousin that lived in the house with you? At first, you might tend to treat her like company, but eventually you would go on about your life. You wouldn't be a jerk or act mean toward her, but neither would you make her the center of your life. That's kind of how you need to deal with your W. I know.....you still love her, but that's not going to stop. I'm just trying to give you an idea of how to deal.
When she's in the same area (such as a ball game), don't snub her, but neither do you put your focus on her. Be respectful, just as you would toward a relative being there.
If I could tell you just how much it turns the WAW off for the H to act all clingy and asking for assurances, etc., you surely would have the strength to detach. However, in times past whenever I would be that frank with a LBH, then I would be under attack, either from other board members or the rejected H.
"I want to ask her, but wont, why the is no touching between us, after the bomb drop all contact stopped."
She doesn't want to be your W. That usually includes no more physical touching. If touching is the way you relate, or your love language, or something you can't live without in a MR......just think how difficult it has been for her if she needs emotional touching to relate. A lot of men never understand this, but if you can....then maybe you'll see why she doesn't want touching now.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
