started out with waking up with the infection in my tooth spreading to my whole face - felt like a hot iron spike in there, but while i waited for the oral surgeon to call in the meds s and i went to the parade - h met us there - not too bad, being around him. the parade was happy wonderful...
h was a bit late and hot and covered in paint and had forgotten his sunglasses so was a bit miserable and complained a lot (laughing). i just didn't take it in, it's not my job to make him comfortable...
he was all ready to leave abruptly - suddenly turned and said out of the blue - ok see you guys later and started to walk off. i replied hey, i thought you were taking s with you. he looked almost shocked and then tried to cover it up and said fine.
(mil told me later that he had told her yesterday that he was taking s for the afternoon, so i don't really know what that was about...)
i went home, got my meds, meditated a long while and then started knitting. he called after 2 hrs to say he was returning s and fil would drop him off. then after s came back, he called an hour later to say he was really sorry and could he take s for the evening so i could work. i happily told him that we had made plans to go over to his mom's with s and his friend to swim after dinner. he said huffily - well, you seem to have everything covered. i didn't respond, but offered that he could take s tomorrow during the afternoon. he wouldn't commit and said he'd call in the morning. i was fine with that.
the boys played with the slip and slide all afternoon while i knitted, then i threw together some crazy dinner without stressing and we ate and went over and swam together.
i blew them away by doing a couple of bombs in the pool - but had to stop when i realized that my ear was also infected and hurt like heck from the water pressure.
but the three of us had a lovely time laughing and playing and then they wanted a sleepover. so we went to friends house to get his stuff and had a drink, and then came back and realized that the air mattress could only be blown up in the driveway with the car charger!!
so there were the 3 of us giggling and laughing in the dark outside at 10 pm blowing up the mattress. it was definitely mentioned that the "old zig" wouldn't have done it!!
just had a lot of laughs today with the boys - they are healing to me. i've always spent a ton of time with s and his friends and always feel so good with them. they teach me a lot about staying in the moment and unconditional love.
h has been offering a lot that he should take s so i can work. keeps implying that there's no way i can get my work done if s is around. i find it a bit odd, but then he really doesn't know the changes i've made, and doesn't seem to care to find out. he would be blown away to see how differently i function now - how i can transition easily, not get stressed about anything that's going on and how much faster i can knit. when he left 10 mos. ago, i would do one shawl over 2 -3 days because my neck was still in bad shape - now i do them straight through in 2 to 4 hrs. he has no idea. i also don't stress about working like i used to before.
so i guess it's understandable that he has this different picture - in a way one could say that there is an alien here in place of the old zig - but a very friendly happy loving one, who has only changed in positive ways
i've decided that i'm going to take him up on his offers to take s. mostly because then s gets to spend more time with him, and i get to put my little goal in place - that s gets to see both of us more and more frequently, no matter which house he is at.
so all in all, things were great today and i look forward to a similar day tomorrow.
got a potluck to go to, and my yoga class
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
