When the bitterness and anger calms down perhaps you may be able to see things more clearly, have more empathy. There is no point in wanting our M to work if we're saying we don't have to do any of the work, it's all their problems to fix. I'm not saying that she diesn't have things to work on but right now in your pain you can't see the problems you two have objectively.
Work on detaching, keep up the NC these are all things to reduce the torture your mind is putting you through. Take care of yourself. Do things for you. What are you doing to GAL?
