Tonight I started feeling slightly sorry for myself and cried a little bit...which svks because I thought I'd get a tear free day. I'm at 48 hours of no contact. I was crying and thinking that he is happy with someone else. And I remembered that I don't know what he's feeling. I tried to figure out why I'm sad and I think it's because I'm choosing a different path than I ever have before. I'm not going to rush into another relationship as much as part of me wants to. Resisting that urge to numb the pain or rejection, deciding on another course, and knowing that it's going to be hard work well it's fvcking scary!
I've switched in my head from doing this work on myself for him and in hope of our reconciliation to doing it for me to be a better person. And in a way, because I'm co dependent and have self esteem issues it's harder to do for me. Isn't that weird?
I am detaching and recommitting to living myself being in a relationship with myself and wanting the best for him.
