Wow...alot more similarities. Xh tried pusing the OW on the kids...big crash and burn with them. Since then the OW stays her distance and doesn't get involved when XH has them over to his house. XH also pushed OW on family members. They weren't receptive to it, but appeared to have no choice but put up with it since he brought her into the family. MIL....doesn't like her and still keep the picture of me and XH up on her bookcase...even on Christmas Day when he took OW over there. LOL!
Im glad to hear that couselors are saying all this happy go lucky behavior is really running strategies. The book Irritable Male Syndrome is excellent in reading about Male Depression. Infact I think I need to read it again. It has a table of the difference in female depression vs male depression and how it's displayed. I will list it here if it can help anyone. It sure helped me understand alot of what is going on. I think what makes us LBS so crazy is that the behavior that our spouses are portraying are opposite of how they really feel. I mean logic tells us that if someone is emotionally dying inside, would they be telling us they hate us, or skipping around like nothing is wrong?
Magnetic Depression (Female)
Blames herself for problems
Feels sad and tearful
Sleeps more than usual
Vulnerable and easily hurt
Tries to be nice
Withdraws when feeling hurt
Often suffers in silence
Feels she was set up to fail
Slowed down and nervous
Maintains control of anger
May have anxiety attacks
Overwhelmed by feelings
Lets others violate boundaries
Feels guilty for what she does
Uncomfortable receiving praise
Accetps weaknesses and doubts
STrong fear of Success
Needs to blend in to feel safe Uses food, friends, and "love" to self medicate.
Believes her problems could be solved if only she could be a better _________ (spouse, co worker, parent, friend)
Wonders, " am I loveable enough?"
Dynamic Depression ( Male)
Blames others for problems
Feels irritable and unforgiving
Has trouble sleeping or staying asleep
Suspicious and Guarded
Overtly or covertly hostile
Attacks when feeling hurt
Overreacts, then often feels sorry later
Feels the world is set up to fail him
REstless and agitated
Loses control of anger
May have sudden attacks of rage
Feelings blunted, often numb
Maintains rigid boundaries; pushes others away
Feels ashamed of who he is
Frustrated if not praied enough
Denies weaknesses and doubts
Strong fear of failure
Needs to be "top dog" to feel safe
Uses alcohol, TV, sports and sex to self medicate
Believes his problems could be solced if only his _____ (spouse, co worker, parent, friend) would treat him better.
