I just want to be friends...Pt2

[zig]

Keeping doing my work, and continue to use this time to practice allowing. Maybe start cultivating a more generous attitude about people's intentions as well

well, YC, you did get your answer, and if i have any inkling of what you might be feeling now - it's probably a mixture of relief, hope and slight disappointment.

focus on the relief and hope and on what you wrote above. it is very very difficult - but you know it can be done.

we are two peas in a pod - that conversation could have been about me. what you are working on is what i am working on - i'm even worse than you are on the reactive scale - our brains are so conditioned, that to not react is like feeling dead!!

so focus on this being very very positive - and allow things to happen. our reactivity is tied in VERY strongly to our defensiveness and ultimately our vulnerabilities. so explore those vulnerable areas within yourself and find out what it is that makes you feel that way and come to understand it and that will lead to less defensiveness, which will lead to less reactiveness.

that's my present theory, anyhow, that i am working on (grin)

Allow, but let go of the outcome.

i see myself doing exactly what you did repeatedly - getting really cooked up and a bit resentful - or a lot and really building things up in my mind - at the slightest trigger - and i'm really working hard to stop doing that and try to see everyone as having good intentions.

when we feel let down or abandoned, instead of looking within ourselves first to find the reasons, we are conditioned to look outwards and that is a hard habit to break. it brings up all our stuff, and till we deal with the stuff we can't let it go.

i'm trying myself to use every opportunity where i have a "reaction" as a gift to dig a little deeper and see what is the next thing i have to work on

sleep, or lack of it adds to the mix - so take care of yourself and find time for a nap or meditate - and remember - even though you heard what you did - no expectations - just let things unfold in their own time and place

when i read your post, i thought - this maybe a good time for YC to read the recipe for success - i've printed it out and read it 2 or 3 times a day - it helps me to stop being so reactive . i am seeing that those qualities that we should cultivate within ourselves don't just apply to our WAS's , but if we could apply them to all the people and situations in our lives, it really is a recipe for living successfully.

take care and focus

(((( ))))

zig