not enought time and too much distance

[any chance?]

Been five days since my xW finished her 10 day visit. There is no question that we had a very good time together. She visited the town, saw all her friends, visited my mother and sister, enjoyed the house....kept saying how nice it was, how normal it felt, etc. Parting was very sad for both of us.

Now I am in the 'what does it all mean' mode. I cannot dwell on it to be sure. She is almost assuredly gone for good, never to return. Maybe her visit was some form of closure. I will probably never know.

I do know that everything that has occurred over the last few years has been a surprise, and very unpredictable. It was great to see that she is almost off her AD drugs, and she realizes that she has been the last few years in a deep fog. It will be interesting to see how her world looks now that she has emotions again.

WAS are very unpredictable. Wonder if I will ever be able to just forget about her?

[Valeska19]

AC,

I'm glad you had a good time with your XW. Be proud that you were able to enjoy her company and be an "act if" king.

I can't only imagine how hard it must be to fight your own rollercoaster right now. I fight d@mn hard to stay off mine when my w has two nice conversations back to back.

But to guess and wonder is moot. You know that.

Just keep on keeping on and hold your head held high. She may never see what you did.. or she might....

..only time will tell.

But you did the best you could.

As for forgetting... well I don't think that will ever happen..

.. but I do know that she will fade to a passing thought or loving memory.

Now only if we could make that happen sooner!!!

[any chance?]

Thanks, V. Appreciate you checking in, and I appreciate your thoughts.

Feeling a bit isolated out here these days. But these things too shall pass, I suppose......

[any chance?]

Kind of in a quandry here.

STBX visited for 10 days about 10 days ago. We had a good time, lots of interaction, lots of talk from her about 'feeling normal', 'best friend', 'questioning decisions' etc. Some tears at critical moments. No physical interaction at all, and I was very careful to not pursue and just be my new improved self. She is weaning off her AD drugs, and says she is thinking much more clearly these days.

Almost no contact with her since she left and went back to her new state. She is involved with OM, says they are 'compatible". Who knows what to think?

I am struggling with whether I should contact her occasionally or not. Do I just stay dark? Or do I drop a text or email once in a while?

I have no expectations. The door is open a tiny crack, but the ball is firmly in her court.

When do I just give up and write the whole thing off?

Thanks for listening.

[Rick1963]

AC stop sitting on your hands waiting for her. I know u say u have expectations but u are full them. No contact no thinking of it either. Get on with life. I know this hard stuff but u are back on her roller coaster. Be strong

[scaredsilly]

i think when she told you she and OM are "compatible", she was saying the two of you are not. just my take on it. sorry, but i think rick is right.

[Valeska19]

I know you have been letting her initiate alot of the contact, let her continue to do so.

You need to live your life.

Move forward knowing that you have no control over our w's feelings or wants. You cannot show her anything. You cannot make her love you, contact you, or want to be part of your life.

So move forward with what is now. This is not giving up. It is accepting where your r is with your w. And know that the only way your m will even recon is if your w puts in the work.

There will be pain.. and it won't go away for awhile. I sometimes think I am giving up on my m.. but I'm not. I know I am open to recon but there is NOTHING i can do at this point.

I have changed alot. It's up to my w to see that... it's up to her to move towards me.

And if she ever does.. I will address it then.

((()))

[InAPickle]

Kind of in a quandry here.

When do I just give up and write the whole thing off?

Here's where you might need to "act as if."

There are only three courses of action: pursuit, quit, or something in the middle.

What have you tried that's getting any results?
What have you tried that's not working?

Sounds like she may be still on the fence.
You could push her over to the other side.
Or you could lure her back to yours.
There's no guessing how long to go on.
It's entirely up to you.

But for goodness sake, don't just sit there and be a "back up plan" for her.

She has to realize you are the one only a fool would leave and as soon as she does, someone's gonna snap you up.

Just my 2 cents.
pic

[any chance?]

Thanks for the thoughts, folks.

I am definately not sitting here waiting for her...I realized that would be foolish long ago, and I appreciate you pointing that out, pic.

I am moving on with my life, to be sure, and realize she has to work out her own demons and game plan. I realize the probability of R with her is about as close to zero as you can get. That is my little glimpse of reality - sad, but true.


[i]"There are only three courses of action: pursuit, quit, or something in the middle"/i]

I know enough not to pursue, and am not ready to quit, so I am struggling on how to interact. Yes, it bothers me when she does not bother to contact me, particularly after her recent visit, but I will get over it. Guess I am feeling a bit in limbo land here, not knowing which way to go.

I truly appreciate everyone's comments and support.
I am struggling on h

[any chance?]

Sitch is too much on my mind these days. Should have blown it off long ago. She is on her own path, and someday perhaps she will realize she has made a mistake. But I doubt it.....it is what it is.

I have to remember to move on with my life. Limbo does not appeal to me in the least.

I really hate this. It has to end.

Thanks for letting me vent.