Yes I'm trying to get full custody, so is she, the system favors the mother... MIL Only speaks spanish, I understand very little... Since the wife moved out I have had no communication with MIL...
I love my wife very much, but I need to protect my rights as a father, and not let that love get in the way of that.
When I get that taken care of, then I can focus on showing her the grass is not always greener.
I wish she was not pushing this so fast so I could do things the other way around.
Me: 37 W:33 S: 2 M: 9/5/09 Suspected: 1/7/12 Confirmed: 2/10/12 Served: 3/29/12 W moved out 3/30/12 First court 5/17/12 HELP!
Peringo, I find my self in a very similar situation, but with a twist. After a consult with a L, and because it is a step daughter, I could only hope for visitation, not custody. If i don't take this step very soon, there is a very good posibilty that if my W wouldn't want me to see SD, she wouldn't have to. But if I file myself to make sure I would at least have visitation, she would be sure to be mad and there would be no chance to save M.
I am at a very difficult position. My D is the most precious thing in my life. But I love my W more than anything, and I would do anything to make sure we would at least have a chance.
Both of you need to do the right thing, not the thing that will keep your spouse from getting mad. If they ever have a chance of coming back to you, they will respect that you did what was right for your child. Realize that chance is slim. Usually people get to this point (bomb, counseling, talk of divorce) when it is already a done deal in the WAS's mind; it is usually too late to save the marriage no matter what you do. Not trying to make you feel bad, just trying to show you why you must try now to get what is best for your kid first of all, and what is best for you second.
You can db while doing this. You do that by detaching, getting a life, acting as if you're moving on while keeping the road home paved and smooth. It's not easy. If you can rely on your lawyer to handle the lawyer stuff that will help.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
caveat emptor - you should know I'm no expert, and nowhere near done in my sitch. I'm just repeating to you things I've learned from reading these boards obsessively since last September. And sometimes it's easier for us to apply what we've learned, to other people's situations, than it is to our own. We are the blind helping the blind. Look for the veterans thread that was posted a while back in newcomers to get more info about who are veterans here and who are just in the same boat with you.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
1702, you should file.... keep track of all time your wife was out leaving you to parent. Document everything, I mean everything, my lawyer is a shark, will be paying for this for the rest of my life.
Filing first will throw a wrench in her plans, but you have to be physically and emotionally stable. Get a calendar document all time spent with daughter. Put a spreadsheet together of monthly expenses, find your tax returns the last 3 years pay stubs for 3 months, remove all financial documents deeds titles, you need to blind side her with your total preparedness. That might make her realize you're not the man she thought.
Me: 37 W:33 S: 2 M: 9/5/09 Suspected: 1/7/12 Confirmed: 2/10/12 Served: 3/29/12 W moved out 3/30/12 First court 5/17/12 HELP!
Mr bond, we have an unofficial 50/50 schedule. I was able to get her to agree with that during the divorce process, she is seeking full custody, I am seeking primary custody. Unfortunately I am in a no fault state, so counseling cannot be mandated.... I am in the family home in which its the only place my son have known, which helps.
Me: 37 W:33 S: 2 M: 9/5/09 Suspected: 1/7/12 Confirmed: 2/10/12 Served: 3/29/12 W moved out 3/30/12 First court 5/17/12 HELP!
I picked up my son yesterday evening. Its amazing how fast your children grow, it seems even faster when you don't see them everyday. He is starting to talk now some spanish some english. My mother in law is now going home, so hopefully the realities of being a single mother will soon set in. I miss my laura...
Me: 37 W:33 S: 2 M: 9/5/09 Suspected: 1/7/12 Confirmed: 2/10/12 Served: 3/29/12 W moved out 3/30/12 First court 5/17/12 HELP!
