I agree with Bond's advice. Although it seems counter-intuitive to not have your H come by to do these chores, the idea is that he would see that you do not NEED him to accomplish these things. Part of the point of DB is reminding ourselves that we can be self-sufficient. Your worrying that H's life would be "easier" if he didn't have to come over to the house to help out makes it sound like you are trying to punish him for his decision. In fact, maybe he takes it that way and that's why he's not so nice when he comes over. It does sound like, from how you described your conversation with him, that he is resentful about having to come and do these chores/tasks (especially by leaving dishes in the sink for you to clean).
You listed a number of reasons why the house is not convenient/working for you. Are the negatives still outweighed by the positive(s) (which seems to mainly be that it ties you to your H)?
