Brit, Thanks for responding. I have been going through this for several months and nothing seems to be working on making me feel better. That comment from Bond almost made me pick up the phone to get some sort of confirmation. I didn't, but now, it is running through my head. I know she is confused and there is alot of guilt going through her. It has been evident with her wanting me to move all my stuff out because she "hurts every morning she had to wake up and see it" and that my requests to see or spend time with SD go unanswered.
After talking to L yesterday, I could try to get visitation, but that would force me to file, and the last thing I want is a D. and if I wait for a couple months, legally, I have no footing to ask for time with my daughter. It could only come if W says so.
I have read half those books. i might have to order the others.
I guess I have accepted that this is happening, but I cannot get past the hurt and anger that someone could do this to another human being when she knew how important marriage and family were to me. I guess I should explain.... Marriage to me is a very sacred thing. She and I both talked in the beginning that if two people fall in love and marry, that nothing could break that apart. That nothing can come between that. I know she feels guilty because she has always know that I want children.. and she felt that she couldn't give that to me before it was too late and we were too old. The point that I wish I could get across to here is that I have a child and if we didn't have more kids, I would be fine with that because I already have a family.
The anger comes from within me. I know that. I feel that she is stealing something from me. The piece of my heart that I gave to her when we committed to each other. At some point, there may be another in my life, but how fair would it be to that person to be in a R with someone that will always love someone else. I don't think that is right. I know it is my decision and my belief, but I feel like if she would have been honest with me, not only the first time, but even the second, we could have dealt with it then.
