Still Afloat and moving Forward

[BeingMe]

Journaling ... re the feral cat metaphor.

I never know what my H is thinking or doing. He is generally a secretive man, always hiding something or another, supposedly to "protect" me. So, I never take him at his word. He'll tell me just as much as he thinks will sate my curiosity/questions. He forgets that this is my life too. He is a very sly feral kitty. Just when you think things are going well, he'll pounce on you with claws out. But, still purring, as if nothing is wrong. If that makes any sense. Still, I put the milk bowl out, hoping that he can make the changes needed, before the door is shut and locked. Once I gain my independence, the house sold, and I move out, there will be no going back. He can stay out in the wild then, for all I care. So sad, because I was the one person in his life who had his back. Friends would come and go, but I was always there, his most loyal of all friends.

For now, we are "friends". Once we're divorced, I will move on completely, only having our children and finances to connect us. Oh well. I will have no reason to be loyal anymore.