I will speak from what I have been through, and seen....
We ALL seek validation in some shape or form. We all need to feel as though we are special.
When we first start posting here, we pat each other on the back and send out "((hugs))", and "I'm sorry" as if they are the last we will ever get. Many of us take those, and shed a tear, or soothe an anger that is building inside of us. Most of the time though, it brings us a smile, and a feeling of being understood. To some, it makes them feel loved and wanted.
What is that, other than a validation ?
What is calling a friend, and having an ear to bend, other than validation ???
What is posting on FB that you are feeling down, and having that contact make you feel loved, other than validation ???
What I am trying to get across, is that through this journey, we tend to lean toward the easy path rather than the path that is open , and brutally honest. We shy away from the questions that "sting" us , because it is easier to say that a person is full of crap, and walk away. The hard part, is having the courage to stand up when we feel the hair stand up on our necks, and ask...." Why did that hurt me so much? "
Once those questions are answered inside, you will validate yourself.
That is where true happiness comes into play. When you can validate your own feelings and actions. Internal validation is one of the hardest things to do, yet one of the most emotionally gratifying things you can do. You smile because it is what YOU want to show the world, regardless of the praise, or the ramifications.
My question to you would be....
IF it isn't true...
Why did Mr Bond's question ruffle you so much ?????
BTW....If you have to "think" that you are done.....you aren't...
you are right. i do seek connection.. love.. comfort.. if that equals validation.. then that's what i need.
what i read from .007 is
"Yes I can see how you feel like you need another man to make you feel validated. I guess you are one of those who needs to have someone in their lives to feel happy.
Is that what you want?"
yes.. i need people in my life to feel happy. but that's not the only thing. if i didn't need people, i would live a complete life of solitude and be ok with it. (alone in the wilderness comes to mind).
but if the question is whether i need a man to feel validated.. that would be inaccurate. it sounded like i needed another man before i could move on from this one.
did i get upset at the question? not upset.. more surprised because if felt like it came out of left field. trying to understand better whether i am giving off the impression that i need a man to validate me.
as for being done.. i think.. i'm not sure.. i'm getting close.. hence the reflection and taking my time to sort things through.
thanks for the tough words. i have been hoping to see more because i feel like i need it to move forward.
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
