(((BF))) I had this in draft, but work kept me from responding. Gotta earn my keep.
I didn't get that you were seeking validation like Bond said. And I don't see that "you are unable to LET GO with out having some sort of EXPECTATION or control mechanism..." or that "RV gave you some sort of false EXPECTATIONS..." like Cadet said. Maybe I'm missing something. What do I know? *shrug*
I'm wondering about the calling your friend thing too. I like how ces put it - "It seems that reaching out to your friend is part of closing the door on your M." I think you need to think more on why you called it trivial, but you were nervous and out of your comfort zone.
I think you are beautiful and strong, and that you TOTALLY rock! I see a teeny, weeny, yellow polka dot bikin in your future. ;-)
