Thanks Starsky!! I am really happy that I have been slow to react and really thinking through whether some things even need a response. It is very freeing for me.
I am again shifting my focus back to my life and changes that I am looking forward to.
I have been really enjoying my life, which is a nice bonus. I've been enjoying going to the gym and trying new classes. My girlfriends have been trying to talk me into a new one on Saturday and I may just do it. I've had the bonus of weight loss too which is very nice!
My boys have really stepped up and have been helping around the house. It was a huge concern that I will be able to maintain the house on my own, and STBX was using it as leverage. But it turns out that what I can't do myself, my boys are more than strong enough to do. What a relief!! They are amazing!
Just today I told S15 that I will be cutting the lawn once it dries enough from recent storms. I just need him to do the hills for me because I don't have the strength. He said "are you sure mom, I can do the whole thing"
The reality is I enjoy it and it is good exercise, but what a sweet boy to offer.
Keeping my focus where it should be, on me and the boys
Question... Does PA require you to see a mediator if you can't agree amongst yourselves on child custody/visitation? If so, assuming your L can get you w/a good mediator, consider requesting one up front, if you can't agree right away... Don't let your L go back and forth w/other L in visitation schedule... Waste of $$$! We had an excellent mediator, and for less than $150 ea, we got the visitation hashed out in two visits. Also, the mediators are great "witnesses" to STBX behavior... Trust me. He won't be a JackAss to you, and not in front of them, if things go south... He'll misbehave there, too! Also, a great place to air concerns about alcohol, etc...
Let your L handle all financial negotiations, and drive a custody suit, should it become required.
I want to see the haircut!!
School is winding down here. Are you planning a grad party?!?!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
A bit of a tough morning. Had some strange dreams last night that disrupted my sleep.
This morning was getting S15 ready for his new job and taking him in. He is working at the marina where we have docked our boat for years. STBX is there this weekend and bumped into him when dropping off S15. He doesn't look well which makes me sad for the kids. He is clearly partying way too much and it is really taking a toll on him. Also found out that he is "hosting" visitors on our boat. Sigh
I really hope he is wise enough to be discreet when it comes to the boys, they will not be too happy if they catch wind.
I am not shocked because he was clearly seeing someone else while we were together, so it only makes sense that he is now. I guess it is frustrating because he has taken yet one more thing from me. The boat and marina were just as much mine, and it is a loss.
I think I am grieving a bit today. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am making the right decisions and steps, just need to readjust my picture of what my future will be. It will be much brighter, just re-tuning my vision
Oh no, we were posting at the same time. I started a new thread since this one was so long.
I think we will have to sell the boat in the divorce, we still owe on it and can't imagine he can keep it. It was already paid for this summer so no reason not to use it (dock fees etc) but it does bug me that he hasn't given me any money toward the kids recently and just took 2 long boat rides with friends last weekend, well over $100 in gas for each ride.
Rest of the weekend was ok, some good stuff to report in my new thread (trying to keep focused on the positive)
