Needing some guidance... 3

[jks]

Focus on you, I have a feeling you've never really done that.

Lately, no, I haven't. I did go through a phase of not caring and doing things for myself. I have just been exhausted, not sleeping and not really eating still. I hate that he has this affect on me.

But obviously, I can't do that when he has one foot my way and one foot her way.

jks, he doesn't have one foot your way. He is firmly in OW's camp. When he panics and thinks you're going to move on, he will try to do enough to keep you warm, but that's it.

I know this is super painful, but longer term you'll have an easier time if you see it that way. He's really *not* on the fence, he has moved on, but wants the ability to jump back over if things don't work out. He's also worried about access to the kids.

Volunteering and the retreat are great -- going out with that guy you met on a friendly basis was great. Keep doing things like that -- that's your path. H needs to *see* that you've moved on. You can't tell him, you need to show him. You show him by being friendly but indifferent to him. You don't *need* him. He must believe that.

Accuray

YOU ARE RIGHT!!! He is NOT my H anymore. I need to do better with this.

That three week period with the kids was killer for me. To be honest, it put me back to the emotional state I was in when I was with my H. Where I felt empty, alone and hopeless. Which then made me incredibly angry and resentful towards him when I heard of all the things he was doing and that he was doing them with OW. I have got to stop hearing about what he's doing. It is killing me! Or I just need to learn to let it roll off my back. I do wish I was a lot further along in this process emotionally.

Thank you both for continuing to post, I really need it right now.