While I suuuuuure wish you had come and posted here before you decided to fund her little love nest, I'm glad you're here NOW, and there are still many cards left to play. There IS hope, but first I need to ask you:
What were your wife's relationships (with other boys/men) like before you two were married? What was your marriage like, before your wife's affair?
What I'm trying to determine is, is this a woman of quality who has made a horrible short-term MISTAKE, and got caught up in it, or does she have other, deeper issues?
The other thing I wanted to ask you is, have you met with an attorney yet? Preferably a really bulldog "men's rights" family law attorney? It doesn't mean you have to file for divorce right now, but you SHOULD be knowing what your options are here.
The first place I would encourage you to start is to try to get a restraining order against this OM, to keep him away from your kids, and to STOP paying for anything that is enabling your wife's affair. While you might not be able to stop her from fleeing from your marriage, there's nothing that says you have to pay for the flight.
