Hi Cat, your story is so inspiring, and more so is the fact that you didn't let these things defeat you. I'm glad for what you have now, and I think you're an amazing person.
I myself, am not quite there yet. I'm afraid to look too closely at things because I want my faulty H and my faulty M to make it and become better with me. I'm afraid to open my heart to other people too much, to put myself in tempting situations, and to really let go and live, because I still feel committed to my M until my H declares that we are done.
I don't expect to be one who will continue trying to win my H back, or hold myself back in order to stick around for him, once we are completely divorced. But until that day I'm still 100% married and 100% committed to doing whatever work I can do to save my family.
Do I expect to have the marriage of my dreams with my H? I don't have that expectation any more. But I love him and want him still. H said he's done, but until the ink is dry on my divorce I will act like there's a chance for us.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
