Without getting into talking about having kids, what did you and W have in common? What did she like about you? What drew you to her, other than wanting children?
My heart goes out to both of you. I know from personal experience what medication can do when you are given certain types and then suddenly taken off or replaced by another kind. It will mess you up mentally and physically.
I'm not suggesting that you get a D, but if she's saying she doesn't want more children, you need to back off pressing her about how you thought you had an agreement. It doesn't sound like she is in any shape to have more kids right now. It could push her to do something both of you would regret....either to herself, or the children.
As for your R with SD, your W might be a little jealous of her D being crazy about another person beside her mother! If it has just been the two of them, it could stand to reason. Again, you need to back off asking her if you'll ever get to see SD again. Don't ask those type of questions. It would be better to say, "I'd love to see SD". Leave it at that.
Don't beg & plead. Don't try to make her feel guilty. I think you are trying to do that when you "remind" her of the agreements before M. Never have a R with anyone you have to pressure, bribe, or guilt.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
