Wife says it's to far gone

[shockeddad]

No it was not a dig. We are on food stamp, we have been splitting them because we each have the boys 50/50. She is making us have our own and not sharing together.

[MrBond]

Well then why haven't you demanded for them to be split? You have the kids 50/50 then the resources need to be split in half as well. Why does she feel like she's entitled to all of it?

[shockeddad]

We have been splitting, but now she wants separate food cards.

[MrBond]

And what would that involve?

[shockeddad]

Us just filling our own paper work. Just something that scares me because it something that indicates she is serious about a D. I think it's just the start of her splitting things up and moving on.

[MrBond]

Then I would suggest you get the jump on her by doing this first. Just do it. Split up the food stamps and come up with the visitation schedule and tell her that she needs to adhere to it. Show that you are ready to move on and she'll get second thoughts.

[shockeddad]

I closed some bank accounts and took some money out so she don't take it. Took her name of the credit card and ordered new card. Told her she needed to give me money for the renewal of a membership and money for my half of the food stamps that she spent. Didn't ell her about the credit card or bank accounts, she didn't sound happy when I asked for the money. She needs a dose of what it's going to be like if she goes and files for a D. She also called me because our son split his head open and she wasn't sure if she should take him in or not. I told her to take him to the fire department I use to work at and see what they think. They didn't think he needed any. Am I come across as mean. Doing this is hard to believe this might change her mind.

[shockeddad]

Do I leave our pictures up thru the house or take them down. What would she think if she walked in and seen them gone. I'm starting to think taht closing bank accounts and taking her off the credit card is going to make her mad and push her away even more. Am I wrong for doing that? I just want to protect me and the boys, and have money to pay the bills. When I see her, she acts like nothing is wrong. JUST DON"T UNDERSTAND.

[25yearsmlc]

shocked,

I'm sorry for how bad you feel and how frightened you are. But I MUST ASK YOU...

have you read the Divorce Remedy Book or the Divorce Busting book? YOU HAVE TO READ IT

or you will keep spinning your wheels wondering what sentence or phrase to say or expression to have on your face.

No ONE comment or incident will end your marriage (other than violence or adultery)

and I still have got NO IDEA why your w wants out.

You need to open up so we can help you more. What is HER complaint?

And what are YOU DOING TO SHOW HER CHANGE?

and what's up with food stamps? Are you working? You may not want to hear this but

women feel safer & more secure with men who can provide a roof over their head and put food on the table. Are you looking for work? How long have the food stamps been going on?

Is money a problem in the marriage?

Again, please, take the time to read the book (Divorce Remedy is slightly better but do NOT give your w the book to read.

It's just for YOU.

Work on YOU, and not what SHE is thinking/doing/saying....

[shockeddad]

1. I did read divorce busting about two or three months ago, but to be honest. I was so scared and lost that I didn't do anything it said. which now I wish it would of open my eyes at that time. Right now I'm readinf DR.

2.Her complaints. She has a real hard time saying what is bothering her. During MC, she would say she don't know why she feels this way. She has said a couple things like, she feels we have grown apart, I don't get along with family members at times, I put work first, and sex. I have a high drive and she don't, shes not much into and said she really only did it because she thought thats what a wife is supose to do.

3.I have become a better father since this has happen and she even says she sees that. I have started building bridges with family and friends that I have burned, she likes that. I have let the Lord into my life and just trying to be more friendly to people and wanting to try new things.

4.We both worked till we had our first son, then she wanted to be a stay at home mom. So I was working fulltime at a hospital, part-yime at a fire department, for the state in the DNR, and at her mom's bar. I also went back to college to work on a degree. I had to work alot to keep up with the bills. Which including leaving family events at times to go to emergency calls to get hours in. After our second son turned 2, she started working at her mom's bar and I would stay home with the kids. Since this has happen, I have given up the fire department, which has been all my life and loved it. I did it to be with my kids more and show her I love her more, didn't seem to work.

5. Even with all the work and school, we still quilfied for assistance. Thats were the food stamps came in.

We both have had a problem of when things were bothering us, we just botteled it up. We never had fights. The only time we had talks, was mostly about sex. We would come up with a plan that we both liked, would be good for alittle while, than we would seem to go back to the same. She said she didn't bring other stuff up, because she said she thought it would be just like the sex talks. Be okay, then back to the same. Things have been different since she started working at the bar, I don't think it's helping. I think she has gotten to close to a so called friend. She swears she just talks to him because he is the only one she can talk to right now. I would bet the farm that nothing has happen P. 1. she really don't like sex and 2 he is 400 pounds, smokes, and smells.