I just wrote a massive post about my feelings at the end of my M in Crazyville's thread. That might be insight for you to read.
I think it's all about empathy if you can put your hurt aside to try and understand someone else's hurt then you can have a chance. What usually happens is we stumble around looking at ways the other person is hurting us when we're confronted with our faults and said YEAH BUT THEY HURT ME. If you can put what someone else NEEDS ahead of your own then you're practicing love.
That's what giving space and time is so hard. It's what they NEED even though it hurts you to be apart from them.
Anything you say about the OM or the A will push her further into it. It's like a little kid if you tell them they can't have one toy in a crowded room it's the only one they want!
Which is why I want to kick myself for saying anything this morning about H living on his own rather than moving in with GF. Granted I was talking about affording to live on his own, but we all know what the subtext was.
