WAW will not be thinking about M at all. They will be keeping busy just to avoid thinking about it. My WAS was trying to take out a home loan, hunting for an investment apartment, researching on loans, trying set up a new home with furniture etc. Eventually she gave up on that as she couldn't handle it financially. So then she rented an apartment and spent lots of time hunting down second hand furniture and appliances.
Then there's my WAW's big and difficult decision on M. Almost identical to Brit's massive and scary description. Another reason for WAW to stay busy and avoid the guilt and responsibility.
The more I read and learn about infidelity the more I find it's all happened before to many people. It's almost as though the WAW recites word for word from a cheaters manual excuses to justify their behavior (actually its to reduce their guilt).
I believe the cruelty is a biproduct of their selfishness - they don't actually want to hurt the LBS. The WAW has probably been unhappy for a while but doesn't understand why and blames the nearest excuse - the LBS. My WAW lacks self confidence and maturity and does not show any of the personality characteristics of the person I married.
It astounds me that you and I have a very similar sitch.
H 34 W 27 M 9mth T 8 Separated 1/'12 ILYBNILWY OM 2/'12
