When it's a one-way street...part 5

[zig]

Confession time... when he falls asleep, I wake him up, repeatedly, scares the crap out of him. I figure I'll annoy him as much as his snoring during the movie annoys me. Plus, there's always the slim chance he'll actually keep his promise and wake up and watch the movie.

i've been reading through some of your thread - not all, i confess, so i don't know the whole story. but from the little i've read - i'm sorry but maybe everyone else is too nice here - but with this kind of attitude - what EXACTLY is it that you are expecting?

your h to change?
your marriage to work?


i understand you're the WAW spouse here - but i really don't get it!

seems to me that you are mean , the way i used to be mean to my h before he walked out on me.

i don't hear any softness, or love or appreciation for your h. maybe i'm wrong and picked up the wrong message here, but i wonder if you thought about how your actions are coming across to your h, and maybe his behavior has something to do with that?

waking someone up just to get back at them? could he be exhausted from the emotional strain he is under living with your anger and resentment. people sleep when they are emotionally exhausted too.

i don't really know what it is you want? do you want your marriage to be better? what are you doing to make it better? you want him to do all the work - well where does he start, without ANY "give" from you?

i know you've said that he doesn't respond when you ask him, and i know that can be very frustrating, but maybe you are not asking in a way that you can get through to him.

i can't understand what your position is - are you a WAW who wants to fix the R, or are you a WAW who doesn't. if it's the first - how are you going about it. from where i'm standing as an LBS, i am figuring that my WAS is going to have to give me a pretty strong indication that he wants to work on our relationship. how could you be giving him that when you are being cruel to him? (i'm referring to the way you wrote "scares the crap out of him").

i know that i am reacting also from my own frustrated feelings - i don't mean to attack you, and i really hope my post doesn't sound terribly angry. i think you just touched a nerve when i read that above sentence that i quoted from your post.

i sincerely hope that you can find some clarity here for yourself - and i would love to hear back from you -

thanks
zig