Needing some guidance... 3

[jks]

So now everyone I talk to is telling me that this is insane for my H to expect me to be ok with this. He's basically telling me that this race and OW's feelings are more important than me and my feelings. Because we all know in the mean time that they're going to continue sleeping with each other and they're going to continue hanging out. Kind of a slap in the face...

So now I'm supposed to continue on and not say anything about it? I can't imagine how he would feel if someone was doing this to his own daughter. I feel like I don't know how to handle this no matter what direction I go. If I don't say anything, then I'm allowing him to treat me like scum and basically becoming a doormat. If I do say something then I'm pressuring him too much.

WHAT IN THE WORLD DO I DO?

Accuray, I know you may not believe this but I really have come a long way. There have been a lot of instances where I had a strong urge to do or say something and I totally went against it and kept my cool. I would either write in my journal, post here or call someone to just vent about it. Believe me, I think if I had really said everything that I wanted to when I wanted to, H may not be making the decision he's making right now.

I will not ever proclaim to be the best DB'er... ever. But reading the book and being on this forum has helped me far more than anything. I have tried my hardest to apply the principles to my situation and at times I know I've failed. But I've had a much better understanding as to why H does what he does and I've given him so much more space than I think I would have ever been able to do.

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My brother just texted me and said that I have something wrong with me. That my H just misses his kids and is just playing me.

I feel like I don't even want to live this life anymore. The amount of anger, sadness and confusion that my H continues to impose on me is really starting to make me feel like I may not be able to go on much longer for him.