She told me that after the one year point of our first wedding and 6 months after our original wedding. I feel that the meds she was on caused alot of our issues. She has had almost every symptom of being depressed and seems to blame her feelings on our marriage. she has made me completely move out of our home, which she owned before we met. I feel she is relieved to not have a husband that she feels she needs to answer to.
I am at a very difficult place with the next days coming up. I am trying to convince my wife to attend a personal session with Michele under the assumption that I am doing this to move on with my life, when, in reality, I want her to have an awakening and work on and save our marriage. My wife is completely on the fence whether to go or not. She says she doesn't think it is a good idea because making a trip with her will only hurt me more.
My other issues are that I am supposed to consult with a lawyer this week because she told me over three weeks ago that she was having D papers drawn up for me to sign. When I told her that I would not sign anything to signify ending our marriage, she told me her supposed lawyer said there was no sense writing anything up if I wasn't going to sign anyways.
I feel that I am definitely at the LRT stage, and am hoping my DB coach will help tomorrow. I want to make sure to remain close enough to have the personal sessions with Michele still and option, but I don't want to seem too pushy.
She seems relieved when she doesn't have to deal with any of this. Almost out of sight, out of mind!
Other issue is that even though we are very similar financially, I am left with sleeping on couch at my mother's. Basically, the $$ i have put into the mortgage, remodeling projects, and typical house stuff won't be returned until she gets what she wants, that is signing the papers, which I have no idea if she really had drawn up.
I have alot going on this week and am so very hopeful I can get some kind of a break!
Plus I miss my daughter. I haven't seen her in two weeks and when I brought up about if I am ever going to see her again, she said probably not because it would only cause more pain, Mind you, she is my step daughter. This is the first time I have referred to her as that because, in actuality, she is my Daughter!
Just thinking out loud... there is alot of stuff my wife is doing that is contradicting what she says she wants. She says she wants a "quick" divorce but won't file the papers. Says she wants to help me out with the money I have put in the house things, but won't respond to my requests. She will give the rings back, but won't aknowledge when I ask for them. Wants me to find my own place, but when I say it will be a while before I can afford a place, she just ignores the fact that I could if I have the money I have put into our marriage. Is this her guilt with our situation or is she prolonging this in case she changes her mind in the future?
Part of me thinks she never wanted to be married, just liked the idea of it. This is one of the problems I am having with everything. How can someone do this to another human being when they knew how much marriage and family meant to them.
just giving update. Hope moderation ends soon. Havent seen my posts show up. Wife just called tonite.. I can sense that none of the methods will work. I can feel that she is done. But when we get a chance to talk about everything, i see the little chink in the armor. I don't want to overdo it!
Is there any way to get this back to front page to get some replies. I am going thru a difficult time with trying to get one of wife's feet back in the door, have a session w/ DB coach tonight, consult w/ L tomorrow, and am supposed to talk to wife sometime in near future. I could really use some advice???
Just figured i'd update if anyone is watching...I had a consult with a L today. Only trying to look out for my best interest. Anyways, I walked in with the intention of letting L know how I felt about D, that I was willing to drag my feet as long as possible, and I would give up anything to make sure I at least still have somewhat of a relationship w/ stepdaughter. An hour and half later, I walked away feeling like I had just been run over by a train. L basically said to get out ASAP, that I deserved more, don't sell myself short, and that it was better to find out know rather than later.
I said i respected her as MY attorney, but I still believe in my marriage, that I won't stop fighting for it, and the risk of being too old to have a family of my own if this doesn't work is worth every second if I can make my marriage work. At the very least, I will be able to sleep at night knowing that I did everything possible to make my marriage work. If this is going to end, no one, me included, is going to say that I took the easy way out and gave in to the big D.
I know it is the L's job to help with D, but from the very beginning, L said "she doesn't love you" and "I wish you could move on". You are right! I am the only one that knows when it is time. But, as of right now, I guess my W is willing to wait the 2 years for it to be official.
The L works for you. An L is not an IC. If they are telling you to get out and leave now after you made it clear that you wanted to stand for your M, get a new L.
