It called Cake Eating. I did not understand really what it was myself until a month or 2 ago. Your H and mine to understand that one day he will not be invited over whenever he feels like it. One day you will have another boyfriend or H helping at bedtime. Getting D means that he will miss out on things. You need a schedule. You need to make someone else the bad guy - like a parent or therapist. Tell H I wish I could keep letting you come over whenever but my C says its not a good idea, its giving the kids mixed messages. Blame it on someone else and stick to a schedule for atleast 6 months.
(Look I really dont know what to do, I'm just thinking out loud)
Also something to consider would be registering for a dating web site and paying for it using a common bank account so he can see you are moving on. (I plan to do this as soon as my new ATM comes in the mail)
Keep up with the Al anon, it has really helped me too. You are a wonderful woman and mom, if your H would take a second and look. keep your head up:)
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
