Hoping my marriage can be saved :(

[Maggie3]

Need some advice. I am very unsure what to do about my house- right now my H is still paying his portion of the mortgage (neither could afford it alone). He makes and pays more than me. We had talked about perhaps me staying and getting roommates, and idea he really liked. He said he would continue to pay a portion of the mortgage if I do get roommates.

I love our house, and feel nervous about so many changes at once, nervous to lose money if we sell our house now, etc. But it is also not really close to my family, my commute isn't horrible but can be bad at times, I have a few friends who live around here. I'm in the suburbs and feel like it may be harder to meet someone if that ends up being the route I need to take (feel pressured by time and the fact I want to have children) and my mother doesn't support me staying here (because I cannot keep up the yard myself) and she worries he will suddenly not want to pay anymore or something. Obviously if we go the route of keeping the house everything would need to be in writing. I also wonder if he has motives of keeping me on the back burner as a plan 2 if things don't work out- and if keeping me in our house is his way of doing this. He says his stress level has fallen since moving out- wouldn't getting rid of our house be the ultimate stress reducer? Or is he feeling guilty over leaving me so he is giving me blood money?

Today my H emailed me this after I sent him something about our bathroom which we had been in the process of hiring a contractor to redo when he dropped the bomb.

"Have you thought anymore about what you want to do about the house?  I'm only asking because if you plan to stay in it without roomates I need to plan for that".

I'm not sure how to respond. I feel like this is a conversation we need to have in person but I'm still so all over the place. I also wonder if over email is better because then I have time to respond with thought instead of emotion, and things are in writing. I wish I didn't have to second guess every contact I have with him. I just wish someone would tell me what to do or that I had a crystal ball. How have others handled house issues?

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day we got engaged