I haven't got time for the pain

[tested metal]

STBXW must be really rarin' for the D, as she is already talking about when I am to pay her for child support and asking for head of household status for tax reasons so she can get an earned income tax credit.

I told her that the child support matters will be determined when the papers are actually written and signed and not before. As for the head of household status, I told her that I think it should go with who is claiming D1 that year as we are alternating.

I am sure I am getting dirty looks from across the city as she reads the e-mail. She sure scowled when I got her child support request reduced because of her income earning ability and quitting her job after filing and prior to the D.

I am feeling a lttle better right now. I just realized that some of the reason that I am so angry is that I feel a lot of loss; loss of m spouse; loss of time with D1; loss of things that used to be; loss of the "ideal" marriage I thought we had; loss of personal posessions that I gave up to be with STBXW and now loss of possessions that replaced the old personal posessions; which in a sense I get a feeling of a loss of self.

I know that I am a good human being and know what I want in life. I know that posessions and title's don't define who I am or make me worthless. But it hurts to lose them.

Maybe it is just grieving the past.

I need to get through this in the present thought to pave the way for the future. MY future and my D1's future.