R33 - I don't frequently post a lot to people, because I still think I am a mess in a lot of regards. Notwithstanding, I have to tell you - you sound exactly like me early on (and still today). It's actually quite alarming. I have a series of of threads dating back months titled "Never Thought I'd Be Here". I would STRONGLY encourage you to look at them - especially the early ones. We are quite, quite alike. Then again, there are common elements that run through all LBS. There are bits on your thread that I've read that are helping me re-focus.
The best thing I can tell you to do is the hardest. Pull back....it goes against everything your heart and logic is telling you to do - but you have to. Force yourself - leave your phone at home (I do that a lot now) - whatever it takes. Once I did this my W actually came back around - of course, I made the common mistake of showing too much enthusiasm and that bumped me right back down the ladder.
Be confident, tear-free, upbeat and happy as you can be when you are around her. Even that means you are doing the ACTING JOB OF YOUR LIFE!! There were many moments when I would put on my brave, happy face in front of my W when I was dropping off our son - and then I would have a TOTAL breakdown in the car on the way back home.
I, too, fear greatly that another man will come along and steal my wife's heart away - so I understand what you are feeling. Truth of the matter is, neither of us can stop it from happening. I just try to put faith in the fact that my W isn't ready for that yet. Our D will be wrapped up shortly, and still I hope things can "improve" after that point.
If I can give you one bit of advice that might help you that I am STILL struggling to get "right" it would be this: do NOT let your self-esteem, happiness or feelings about yourself be tied to how your GF feels about your or your situation at any given time. She, kind of like my W, is most likely on the roller coaster and you will go mad with the ups and downs. Please do not allow yourself to go there with her. I regret being in that cycle and I know if I could break it things would be better for me.
Thank you for posting. Thanks to those who replied. It's helping me refocus a bit.
